Archive for category In the Courtroom
Connecticut Couple Ordered to Exchange Facebook Passwords
Posted by Kelly Thames in Child Custody, Discovery, Divorce, In the Courtroom on November 16, 2011
I recently read an article from MSNBC about a divorcing couple in Connecticut who was ordered to disclose their Facebook passwords. On September 29, a Connecticut judge ordered a divorcing couple to hand over the passwords of their respective Facebook and online dating websites to each other’s lawyers. The decision is intended to aid the lawyers in the discovery process of the divorce case, which will involve custody of the couple’s children. The judge said neither of the parties will be allowed to view the other’s websites.
Apparently the wife was posting things on her Facebook profile regarding her feelings toward the husband, the children and her ability to take care of them, which prompted this entire situation. Not sure why someone would publicly advertise those things about their private lives, but I guess it seemed like a good idea to the wife.
When the wife was asked during a deposition for her passwords, she gave them up, but then asked a friend to go to her profile and delete several of the postings. Upon hearing this, the judge issued an injunction and the parties turned over their Facebook and dating site passwords to each other’s attorneys.
Earlier this year, my associate, Kelly Thames, briefly wrote about the role of social media in family law proceedings (and in getting a job, among other things). Cases such as this one in Connecticut remind us of the importance of keeping private thoughts and feelings just that: private.
Keeping records
Posted by Kelly Thames in Alimony, Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, In the Courtroom, Maintenance, Modification & Enforcement, Paternity, Spousal Support on October 31, 2011
Contributed by Kelly D. Thames, Attorney & Counselor at Law, kthames@steele-law.com
I was watching the “Ron and Tammys” episode of Parks & Recreation last night, where Ron is being audited by the IRS because of his ex-wife, Tammy 1. Ron’s recordkeeping is hilariously awful: he has notes of purchase that he wrote himself; he has a picture of himself shaking hands with another guy as proof of a “gentlemen’s agreement;” he doesn’t have bank accounts or formal records and he buries gold in various places; he also has decoy gold. Although this type of recordkeeping is over-the-top silly, it made me think about clients in divorce cases.
People don’t often think about what could happen if a marriage goes sour and so they don’t keep meticulous or organized records in preparation for a divorce or child support case. When one party files for divorce and discovery starts to happen, it becomes a huge ordeal to gather financial documents that are required when one side files a notice to produce documents and a request for a financial disclosure statement. Divorces can get dragged on for years because a party is not organized in their financial life, which significantly increases the cost of the divorce.
It is probably not very likely that you will be audited by the IRS these days, in fact, Ron’s audit was fake, it was just because Tammy 1 wanted to assess his financial situation before deciding that she wanted to “take him back.” By the way, that is not a healthy relationship, but that’s an entirely different post!
The basic message here: the IRS has three years from the date you file your income tax returns to audit your return if it suspects good faith errors, six years for underreporting your gross income by 25% or more, and no time limit for fraudulent returns. Most divorce attorneys will request the same three years of documents when there are financial issues in a domestic relations case. Your attorney won’t hunt and gather those documents for you – that is your job. The Illinois State Bar Association keeps a list of standard Matrimonial Interrogatories on their website, so you can see what kinds of financial information may be requested of you during a contested family law matter.
As in many other areas of life, I like to quote the Girl Scout motto, “Be prepared.”
Can having breast cancer affect your chances of getting custody?
Posted by Kelly Thames in Child Custody, Divorce, In the Courtroom on October 13, 2011
The answer might surprise you.
It’s that time of year again: when 300 lb football players can be seen wearing pink on live television, when the streets of Chicago are filled with barricades and people walking who “think pink.” Yes, folks, it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month. We all know the typical effects that having breast cancer (well, any cancer, for that matter) can have on one’s health, career, relationships, and family. It can be a very stressful time for families, yet it seems most of us overlook how breast cancer can affect divorcing families.
Now, if you ask me, divorce and child custody matters are complicated and stressful enough without having a terminal illness thrown in the mix. Recently, though, a North Carolina mother diagnosed with terminal breast cancer has been making headlines with her custody battle for her children.
In May 2011, a North Carolina judge denied Alaina Giordano primary custody of her two children in part because “the course of her disease is unknown” and “children who have a parent with cancer need more contact with the non-ill parent.” The father lives in Chicago with the two children. Interestingly, the judge felt that the stress of living with the parent who was not physically ill would have a better effect on the children. Notably, in her ruling, the judge cited forensic psychologist Dr. Helen Brantley: “The more contact [the children] have with the non-ill parent, the better they do. They divide their world into the cancer world and a free of cancer world. Children want a normal childhood, and it is not normal with an ill parent.”
It’s important to remember that when determining child custody, a judge will often consider the mental and physical health of each parent. I’m certain it wasn’t an easy decision for the judge to make, but it seems clear that many things, including Giordano’s mental stability and the couple’s history of domestic violence, contributed to the judge’s decision besides the breast cancer. Still, many believe that greater emphasis was placed on the mother’s health because of her diagnosis of stage four breast cancer.
Luckily, it’s not all bad news for Giordano. According to the initial custody ruling, she can travel to Illinois to visit her children on holidays and weekends. She could also have shared custody of the children if she moves to Illinois. I think this is great, seeing as how there are many cancer treatment centers in the Chicago area. However, she wants to stay in North Carolina to continue her cancer treatments, and says that she cannot afford the airfare. They say you have to “pick your battles” and it certainly seems that Giordano has picked hers.
What do you think? Do you agree with the judge’s ruling? Do you think Giordano is making a mistake by not moving to Illinois?
Read more: North Carolina Mom with Breast Cancer Loses Custody
Judge Upholds Denial of Child Custody
Fur Coats and Child Support
Posted by Kelly Thames in Alimony, Child Support, Divorce, In the Courtroom, Maintenance, Spousal Support on October 11, 2011
Contributed by: Bryan Keehl, Attorney & Counselor at Law, Steele Law Firm, bkeehl@steele-law.com
In court a few years ago, I was sitting quietly watching a mother stand before the judge beseeching him to increase her level of monthly maintenance. She had no attorney, but her arguments were sound. His income was up, hers was down. She had sacrificed her career to stay home with the children, and the family had lived high on the hog. Though perhaps a little dramatic, she was composed, well-spoken, and appeared sincere. She explained that her level of child support was woefully inadequate, that she was two months behind in her rent, and she didn’t have money to feed her children. Before the ruling was made, I felt fairly confident the judge would not give her what she was seeking. Sure enough, the judge denied her motion without much of an explanation.
The problem?
To begin, she strolled into the courtroom in a full-length fur coat. I watched the judge eye her as she walked in and, with a small flourish, slide the coat off her shoulders and place it irreverently on one of the attorney tables. As she spoke during the hearing, her speech lilted with a slightly patronizing tone, and, as she put on her case, her word choice smacked more of entitlement and expectation than explanation and deference. In short, she was blatantly unaware that she was appearing less like a loving mother trying to provide for her children and more of a trophy housewife with an attitude. She may have been telling the truth, but the way she told it gave the judge doubts about her credibility.
The situation illustrates not only how common sense is often lost on litigants, but also stresses just one of the many ways an attorney is useful to a client. Beyond the legal expertise that a client obviously expects, many clients do not think about what is perhaps a lawyer’s most important job: framing the case (and the client) in a favorable way before the judge. In a close and contentious case where the truth is difficult to pin down, quite often the biggest asset a party has is the one which a good lawyer always provides: a sense of credibility before the judge.
Hey, this means YOU!
Posted by Kelly Thames in In the Courtroom on October 6, 2011
Contributed by: Bryan Keehl, Attorney & Counselor at Law, bkeehl@steele-law.com
Previously, I had spun a tale of a woman who had lost a hearing for seemingly innocent and trivial reasons. Here are six small tips to avoid making similar mistakes in the courtroom.
- Stop talking when the judge starts talking – This may seem like a no-brainer, but it happens every minute of every hour the courthouse is open for business. Some people often mistake relatively quiet judges for push-overs. In the end, whether the judge allows someone to interrupt her or not, talking when the judge talks will often lose you points.
- Always tell the truth – Good advice no matter where you are. Your credibility is often all you have when the opposing party keeps stretching the truth, but you don’t have documents to back you up. Getting caught in a lie will make it that much harder to convince the judge of most anything else.
- If the judge rules in your favor, keep your mouth shut – More than once I have seen a judge alter his ruling after a party (and even a lawyer) has continued to blather on after the judge awarded them what they wanted. The judge giveth. . . the judge taketh away.
- Let your lawyer do the talking – You have hired a lawyer for a reason. Let he or she frame the issues for the judge. This doesn’t mean that whispering to your lawyer after your spouse has landed a whopper is not a good idea, but, as far as presenting information directly to the judge goes, let your attorney take the lead.
- Try to leave your emotions at the door – This is, perhaps, the hardest thing for family law litigants to do. The court relies on evidence and factual information, not the personal animosity you harbor towards your child’s father or mother. In family law cases, the court is often least concerned with those same visceral and emotional issues that a party most desperately wants to explain to the judge. Allowing yourself to lose your cool or say derogatory things about the opposing party can also be exploited by the opposing attorney who can manipulate you into saying things that can greatly harm your case.
- Do not stray from a question when responding – This a corollary to allowing your lawyer to do the talking. In court, your lawyer will craft a series of questions to paint you in the best light possible. The opposing counsel will try to trick and manipulate you into saying more than you intended to. Straying from the question during your answer will often lead to a loose conversational thread that opposing counsel can sink his hooks into. Keep in mind, many questions can be answered by a simple yes or no.
Even if you don’t believe yourself to be guilty of any of these courtroom faux pas, it’s always best to take a moment, reflect on your past behavior and then make adjustments where necessary. You’ll be glad you did.
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